Day 25: Frozen Solid

Weight:  183 lbs  
Size:  12
Blood Pressure:  130/87
Feeling:    
  Pre-Cryo:    Not Great
  Post-Cryo:   Much Better

Let's just jump right in, shall we?

Pre-Cryo:

After a rough night and a restless sleep, my morning started pretty much as expected.  I was in auto-pilot mode.  Moving, but my heart wasn't in it.  

If you asked, and if I was honest, I would have had to admit I was feeling pretty down.  If I was really honest and looked at a recent pattern, I'd have to admit I was probably bordering on a depression.  

What a crummy way to start a day, right?  C'mon, we've all been there, haven't we?

But...it gets better.  Seriously.

I showed up for cryotherapy and it was raining, which seemed to suit my mood pretty well.  Even the thought of doing my cryotherapy wasn't really cheering me up all that much, to be honest.  I kind of just wanted to do it and move on.  

Post-Cryo:

I had intended to run errands and get some things accomplished afterwards that needed doing.  As usual, I felt energetic and focused.  I felt calm.  

But...about an hour after cryotherapy, something just sort of shifted.

No.  No errands.  No.  I was tired.  I was done with this week from hell and with the stress levels from beyond hell and nothing I needed to do was so urgent that it could not wait one more day.  I was going home and I was going to take a nap.  It was only an hour, but I did it.

And it wasn't just the nap.  More had shifted in that moment.  I got a little of my fight back.

I wasn't feeling so down anymore.  Instead, a little spark lit inside.  A little of me came back and I felt more like myself finally.  Instead of feeling beaten down by stress, I felt mad.  I felt empowered to stand up and be a bit more of the fighter that I am typically known to be. 

So, yes.  I feel better.  Whether it's from cryotherapy or what, it was a good moment to feel the better start after feeling crappy for a little while now.  It was interesting to notice the exact moment I began to feel better.  I can actually pinpoint it...I was driving and just felt it.  I began to sing along with the radio again (yes, I do that!) which I had not been doing lately.  Instead of feeling the pressure to just do things, I felt my "no" come on.

No.  I was going to do what I wanted to do right now.  What was good for me.  What felt good to me.  

It's nice to feel better.  Very nice.  
Maybe cryotherapy got me there.  
Maybe not.  
I can't prove it, but I think it helped and that's all that matters.

Part of feeling better means that I have some serious crap to deal with all around me now and I still might not know how I want to deal with it yet - but I do know that I will be dealing with it.

I'm back.

P.S.   There's a meteor shower tonight.  Go make some wishes on shooting stars in the dark...