Size: 12
Blood Pressure: 130/80
Feeling:
Pre-Cryo: Good
Post-Cryo: Very good!
It was another night that I wouldn't mind forgetting, as I still turn things over and over in my mind. I was tired at bedtime, but a pre-bedtime conversation had left me alone with my thoughts and I could feel myself fighting sleep.
Despite the fact that I was doing better, it was obvious I wasn't doing great.
Eventually I drifted off way too late and woke at the usual early morning hour. I rose without complaint or hesitation and felt...well, I felt a bit improved.
So, we can call that progress.
I'm looking forward to a busy day, but a good day. Cryotherapy won't be my only icing of the day. After my daily chillfest and a long overdue hair appointment - I get to go sit ice-side (well, close enough) and watch the Florida Panthers season opener.
It's Happy Hockey Day!
I'm no "fair weather fan". I'm a genuine SlapShot loving, Hanson Brothers crazed, been there since the 1995 season and the 1996 Eastern Conference championship and sat through the Panther's fledgling practices in Deerfield Beach's crappy ice rink back in the day kinda girl. Before that, with no hockey in Florida, I was relegated to exhibition games that occasionally came to town and I can tell you my first one was the Washington Capitals vs. The New York Islanders in Miami - and I was there. So, yes. I'm happy to be going to Opening Night.
Pre-Cryo:
Basically, mood = slightly better. Or at least distracted from my drama?
I'm slightly tired from a lousy night of sleep (my own fault) but otherwise, I feel pretty good. I'm trying to get things done and I'm trying to be positive. I can't solve my problems - mostly because the ones that are hurting me right now aren't actually my problems. They are other people's problems that are directly impacting me in a big way, if that makes sense. I cannot solve them. I can only control my own space and I'm going to try to figure out right now what that means for me and what I need to do to feel better.
So - I'm hoping cryotherapy today with give me a massive burst of much needed energy to get through the rest of the day. It's going to be a long one and I need all the help I can get.
My cryotherapy team that was sharing the experience with me has been dropping like flies. They're super busy and they have their own reasons for needing to sit out some sessions, but the timing sucks a bit. I don't think I realized how much more fun it was to share it. I'm doing it solo right now and I miss the camaraderie. That's weirdly symbolic of a lot of things going on right now for me (because it's all about me, me, me). I'm going to try to keep it in perspective. People have lives. They don't revolve around me. Check.
Post-Cryo:
My mood continues to improve a bit.
I did have my burst of energy, but I am slightly tired. That's on me. I really need to sleep when my body tells me to instead of fighting it.
I didn't have to do cryo solo today, which was nice and I enjoyed the company! It was funny timing since I had just thought about it - and I was glad to get another person back on track with me!
I'm upbeat at the moment and looking forward to a fun weekend. After cryotherapy I headed to a hair appointment where my regular stylist immediately noticed I'd lost a bit of weight and remarked on it. That's always going to lift my spirits. She also convinced me to do something slightly different on the hair - a very subtle change, but it was fun and I like it. I'm not completely sure it's noticeable yet since i haven't seen anyone since...
I'm debating on a tiny nap pre-hockey and wondering if I can squeeze it in...?
I'm feeling calm, sedate, a bit sleepy. I'm feeling positive, solid and resolved. My thoughts from earlier about keeping things in perspective remain. I need to focus a bit on my side of the street right now and how I want to go about making myself feel good about things. I'm not sure yet what that will entail, but I'm going to just "do me" for a bit and try my best not to let things affect me as deeply as they have been.
When I reflect, I can easily see that other people have been having a large effect on how I feel lately. My moods and spirits are very much tied to other people and that isn't good. I'm taking that back for a bit as best I can. I have a tendency to be an empathic person to the extreme and I read people's feelings a bit too well. It used to make for a great party trick. Give me a deck of tarot cards and I can pull all sorts of things out of a total stranger. I have always had an uncanny knack for perceiving someone's feelings, moods, perceptions, thoughts, etc. My husband actually loves this - it saves him from having to communicate things 99% of the time. It also used to be handy in business meetings. I would slip notes under the table to my colleagues letting them know what I was picking up on the room. Sounds fun, but most of the time, it's really not. Imagine being in a room and everyone is polite, but you immediately know who doesn't like you. I do. Imagine when you can tell the exact moment a "friend" is giving you the cold shoulder without knowing why. I can tell. Imagine knowing when you are being judged (harshly) or sized up or leered at by the wrong person (kinda nice when it's the right person, but otherwise...yikes...) I do... I had gotten much better at 'turning the empath off' but I guess somewhere I was letting stuff in again because I've been getting hammered with some ugly stuff that stings and it's been beating me up. I wouldn't mind some nice stuff getting in...but it seems like I'm getting all the negative lately. Yuck. Force fields up.
Sounds silly, but it just is what it is. For me, the important thing is finally recognizing it. I think I've been getting pounded with it for awhile now and not seeing it for what it was. Now that I do, I can at least move onto focusing on doing something about it next.
I'll be doing an early cryotherapy session tomorrow - but there will be no cryotherapy on Saturday again (boo!) I will be heading out of town again for the weekend for a brief, fun getaway with my family!
Hope you get some fun in of your own! Maybe try a little cryotherapy?
I'm off to get hockey-ready! Go Panthers!
***Update: Panthers Win! Woohoo!
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